Is there any hope for good guys in dating?

I'm 25 years old and african american. I'm not saying that I'm a perfect person at all, but I do know how to treat ladies with respect and dignity. I don't drink alcohol, nor do I smoke. I've never been to jail or had any problems or issues with authorities. But it seems like I have to do that in order to talk to girls or show interest in them. I don't know how to talk down about people in order to be the life of the party or have girls notice me. I'm not cocky or arrogant. But it just seems like society praises people who are this way, especially women. I don't get it. It sucks. For a while, I felt kind of suicidal because I don't want to have to resort to being a "bad boy" in order to be with a "good girl". Why can't I just be who I am which is a positive, respectful, loving and caring person and still ber able to be with a good girl. Why can't society praise people for doing the right thing instead of praising arrogance and rudeness.